It was five hours past, I had spoken to Mama. How dare she hit an eight year old just for the fact that her eyes had caught the humble creature playing marbles in the mud which had turned his shiny bright clothes into a dark mucky brown shade.
Come on!, after all there's a washing machine at home to shine back the outfit as before and yes the Dettol back at home would work itself out on those sloppy palms making them fit enough to eat the night Morsel with my own able hands rather than being feeded.
Are these worth more than the smile of her child?
She confines me to the four walls of my room and substitues the playing of those marbles to snake and ladders and ludo instead. I somehow escape her eye when she turns her attention to the kitchen and i break off to the world that i love being in. Back to the home in the evening the muddy marbles in my pockets are denied entry into the house and i opt to deposit it in the bank of my best friend who stores it to and carry over those muddy marbles back to home. I loved those twinkling marbles and I do wash them every day after returning back home but Mama is bent upon throwing them into the dustbin to keep me away from them. She finally had her day today and off went those muddy marbles into the gutter.
How rude Mama is sometimes. I will never speak to her until she tells me sorry and buys me a tin of glittering round marbles. No, I will not really give in this time. After all Papa will take good care of me. How well Papa makes me eat the food at times. He puts me on the swing with the music on and puts the delicious morsel of food into my tiny mouth. This Mama doesn’t care at all while making me eat food, she wants table manners frome me, and I have to maintain discipline while eating and have to first offer my prayers to God before eating the food.
Papa dresses me up within minutes and this Mama takes so much time to make me ready. She bathes me, puts powder on my cheeks and combs my hair. I could have better used this time to play with my marbles. Papa puts me to sleep with the stories from the fairy tales and this Mama doesn’t need a book at all. God knows from where she creates stories to tell me to put me to sleep and it always begins with ‘once upon a time there was a king’. I’m fed up with such stories. She scolds me unnecessarily in the morning when I wet the bed, when it is her mistake to mention the name of ‘boogeyman’ to put me to sleep at night, the very mention of the word makes me shut my eyes. She is always behind me to complete my homework and does not allow me to watch Mickey mouse and He-man, unless I finish them. How rude she is sometimes, that’s why Papa stays so long at office otherwise she would trouble him too.
Lucky Dad, he’s got a job, even I will get it someday, and then we both will leave her all alone at home so that she realizes what it means to trouble an eight-year-old child like this.
These feelings continued until the moon asked the sun to go down as it was the time for the moon to come into limelight. I picked up the tinkle comic book pretending to read it, so that I could avoid seeing Mama. Seeing my behaviour, mom came to me, asked to stop it all, and tried to pacify me but I looked away annoyed.
‘Hmm, I will see how long you will stay away from me’, said Mom and went away into the kitchen to perform her last job of the day.
As soon as Dad came home, I went to him and enclosed my arms around his legs. Luckily, even he was in a good mood. He took me to my room and after dinner he spent the rest of the time playing with me, helping me in building blocks and finally reading out the fairytale of ‘Cinderella’ which ended in my ears when the girl runs away leaving her shoe.
When I woke up the next morning on my own, there was complete silence, which was very unusual, as Mom would always wake me up. I walked out of my room, thinking mama might be very sorry for what happened last night between me and her and that she is being nice to me by not sending me to the school today. On reaching the hall, I saw it filled with many people and Papa was sitting at a corner with his face covered in his hands. I searched mama and there she was lying still, wrapped in a white cloth and her sister sitting beside her was crying loudly. I wondered what everyone was up to.
Mom’s sister noticed me and ran to me with tearful eyes, and rushed me back into my room. I asked her what had happened. She embraced me and continued her sobs but did not tell me a word. She stayed with me the whole day and refused to let me out of the room to keep me away from the things that were happening outside the room. Confused mind asked aunt repeatedly about Mom but she remained silent by pushing the toy cars towards me so that I could play and stop troubling her.
Late in the evening, Dad entered the room, took me into his arms and said that my Mom had gone to some faraway place and it would take her some very long time to return back.
‘She has asked me to take care of you in her absence and she will not return if you keep crying for her. I will write letters to her about your behaviour at home. So be good if you want her to be back soon’ said Dad looking at me.
I yelled at him loudly and started hitting him. ‘I want mummy, I want my mummy…..’ filled the air as I ran out to find her.
‘No Mama, I will not be naughty anymore. I will not ask you for any more chocolates. I will not play marbles in the mud and dirty my clothes. I promise to do my homework. I will brush my teeth every day, I will listen to your stories, please take me into your arms.
I bartered all this to Mama but in vain. I begged her with tears flowing from my eyes asking her to pick me up into her arms but she maintained her stubbornness and did not turn up from any corner.
Aunt came to me and took me to my room to put me to sleep. As the eyes could not find any more tears, they closed after some time and the throat went dry. I couldn’t yell more so had to quietly sleep.
Life started changing after Mom left me all alone. I hardly saw the rising sun and the breakfast prepared by the cook had lost its taste. I had learnt to dress myself up but not tidy enough and papa would drop me to school once the carriers were packed. At school, I was punished for not completing my homework almost every day. The lunch breaks were spent all alone sitting at one corner of the school, eating the contents of the Tiffin not even knowing what was in it. The mind was lost somewhere and the world never seemed to exist. The eyes always faced the ground now and they never looked into anyone’s eyes. The evenings were spent sitting in front of Mom’s photo looking into her eyes, which looked back at me smiling. The lady who could never stay away from me even for a minute had been away for months. What turned out to be so important to her, that she was even ready to sacrifice the time of her son?
I waited to ask all these questions to her the day she would turn up
Dad was busy with his office work and spoke very little to me. The nights were as lonely as the day but I eagerly waited for the night, as sleep was the only medicine to overcome this pain that I suffered. I helped myself to sleep to drown into the lovely moments of my tiny body in the arms of my mother and my head laid on her shoulders with her fingers running through my hair. How pleasant it felt. This place appeared to be heaven, as the only place I could find her with me was in this imaginative world of dreams.
Life moved on.
Aunt used to visit us sometimes on the weekends and took me to her home. I loved gazing at her face as it resembled Mama’ face. She tried to share some part of her love towards me that belonged to her children but it missed the personal touch of a Mom. There was affection but not the pure love of a mother. I would always ask her that when would Mama return back but instead of replying she would just look into my eyes and hugged me tightly picking me up into her arms diverting my attention.
Neither Papa nor was she interested in answering this question.
Care, attention, concern, tending had slowly began to vanish away from me. No one seemed to bother seeing me untidy, my dirty clothes, my tears hardly noticed, my existence not felt and my stomach had learnt to remain empty.
As days passed by, the only friend that I had now was loneliness. There was no one to speak to, only the walls listened to my silent cries and my dark room had become my world. Papa was lost in his own world not having much time for me and he had left me to my life.
One Saturday while in my aunt’s house I learnt from her little daughter that my mother was dead. I asked her what did the word dead mean. She said that she did not know its meaning but had heard her mother telling it to her father. The word started haunting me and I wanted to know what it meant. I waited for the Monday to arrive soon so that I could ask my school-teacher, the meaning of this word.
Come on!, after all there's a washing machine at home to shine back the outfit as before and yes the Dettol back at home would work itself out on those sloppy palms making them fit enough to eat the night Morsel with my own able hands rather than being feeded.
Are these worth more than the smile of her child?
She confines me to the four walls of my room and substitues the playing of those marbles to snake and ladders and ludo instead. I somehow escape her eye when she turns her attention to the kitchen and i break off to the world that i love being in. Back to the home in the evening the muddy marbles in my pockets are denied entry into the house and i opt to deposit it in the bank of my best friend who stores it to and carry over those muddy marbles back to home. I loved those twinkling marbles and I do wash them every day after returning back home but Mama is bent upon throwing them into the dustbin to keep me away from them. She finally had her day today and off went those muddy marbles into the gutter.
How rude Mama is sometimes. I will never speak to her until she tells me sorry and buys me a tin of glittering round marbles. No, I will not really give in this time. After all Papa will take good care of me. How well Papa makes me eat the food at times. He puts me on the swing with the music on and puts the delicious morsel of food into my tiny mouth. This Mama doesn’t care at all while making me eat food, she wants table manners frome me, and I have to maintain discipline while eating and have to first offer my prayers to God before eating the food.
Papa dresses me up within minutes and this Mama takes so much time to make me ready. She bathes me, puts powder on my cheeks and combs my hair. I could have better used this time to play with my marbles. Papa puts me to sleep with the stories from the fairy tales and this Mama doesn’t need a book at all. God knows from where she creates stories to tell me to put me to sleep and it always begins with ‘once upon a time there was a king’. I’m fed up with such stories. She scolds me unnecessarily in the morning when I wet the bed, when it is her mistake to mention the name of ‘boogeyman’ to put me to sleep at night, the very mention of the word makes me shut my eyes. She is always behind me to complete my homework and does not allow me to watch Mickey mouse and He-man, unless I finish them. How rude she is sometimes, that’s why Papa stays so long at office otherwise she would trouble him too.
Lucky Dad, he’s got a job, even I will get it someday, and then we both will leave her all alone at home so that she realizes what it means to trouble an eight-year-old child like this.
These feelings continued until the moon asked the sun to go down as it was the time for the moon to come into limelight. I picked up the tinkle comic book pretending to read it, so that I could avoid seeing Mama. Seeing my behaviour, mom came to me, asked to stop it all, and tried to pacify me but I looked away annoyed.
‘Hmm, I will see how long you will stay away from me’, said Mom and went away into the kitchen to perform her last job of the day.
As soon as Dad came home, I went to him and enclosed my arms around his legs. Luckily, even he was in a good mood. He took me to my room and after dinner he spent the rest of the time playing with me, helping me in building blocks and finally reading out the fairytale of ‘Cinderella’ which ended in my ears when the girl runs away leaving her shoe.
When I woke up the next morning on my own, there was complete silence, which was very unusual, as Mom would always wake me up. I walked out of my room, thinking mama might be very sorry for what happened last night between me and her and that she is being nice to me by not sending me to the school today. On reaching the hall, I saw it filled with many people and Papa was sitting at a corner with his face covered in his hands. I searched mama and there she was lying still, wrapped in a white cloth and her sister sitting beside her was crying loudly. I wondered what everyone was up to.
Mom’s sister noticed me and ran to me with tearful eyes, and rushed me back into my room. I asked her what had happened. She embraced me and continued her sobs but did not tell me a word. She stayed with me the whole day and refused to let me out of the room to keep me away from the things that were happening outside the room. Confused mind asked aunt repeatedly about Mom but she remained silent by pushing the toy cars towards me so that I could play and stop troubling her.
Late in the evening, Dad entered the room, took me into his arms and said that my Mom had gone to some faraway place and it would take her some very long time to return back.
‘She has asked me to take care of you in her absence and she will not return if you keep crying for her. I will write letters to her about your behaviour at home. So be good if you want her to be back soon’ said Dad looking at me.
I yelled at him loudly and started hitting him. ‘I want mummy, I want my mummy…..’ filled the air as I ran out to find her.
‘No Mama, I will not be naughty anymore. I will not ask you for any more chocolates. I will not play marbles in the mud and dirty my clothes. I promise to do my homework. I will brush my teeth every day, I will listen to your stories, please take me into your arms.
I bartered all this to Mama but in vain. I begged her with tears flowing from my eyes asking her to pick me up into her arms but she maintained her stubbornness and did not turn up from any corner.
Aunt came to me and took me to my room to put me to sleep. As the eyes could not find any more tears, they closed after some time and the throat went dry. I couldn’t yell more so had to quietly sleep.
Life started changing after Mom left me all alone. I hardly saw the rising sun and the breakfast prepared by the cook had lost its taste. I had learnt to dress myself up but not tidy enough and papa would drop me to school once the carriers were packed. At school, I was punished for not completing my homework almost every day. The lunch breaks were spent all alone sitting at one corner of the school, eating the contents of the Tiffin not even knowing what was in it. The mind was lost somewhere and the world never seemed to exist. The eyes always faced the ground now and they never looked into anyone’s eyes. The evenings were spent sitting in front of Mom’s photo looking into her eyes, which looked back at me smiling. The lady who could never stay away from me even for a minute had been away for months. What turned out to be so important to her, that she was even ready to sacrifice the time of her son?
I waited to ask all these questions to her the day she would turn up
Dad was busy with his office work and spoke very little to me. The nights were as lonely as the day but I eagerly waited for the night, as sleep was the only medicine to overcome this pain that I suffered. I helped myself to sleep to drown into the lovely moments of my tiny body in the arms of my mother and my head laid on her shoulders with her fingers running through my hair. How pleasant it felt. This place appeared to be heaven, as the only place I could find her with me was in this imaginative world of dreams.
Life moved on.
Aunt used to visit us sometimes on the weekends and took me to her home. I loved gazing at her face as it resembled Mama’ face. She tried to share some part of her love towards me that belonged to her children but it missed the personal touch of a Mom. There was affection but not the pure love of a mother. I would always ask her that when would Mama return back but instead of replying she would just look into my eyes and hugged me tightly picking me up into her arms diverting my attention.
Neither Papa nor was she interested in answering this question.
Care, attention, concern, tending had slowly began to vanish away from me. No one seemed to bother seeing me untidy, my dirty clothes, my tears hardly noticed, my existence not felt and my stomach had learnt to remain empty.
As days passed by, the only friend that I had now was loneliness. There was no one to speak to, only the walls listened to my silent cries and my dark room had become my world. Papa was lost in his own world not having much time for me and he had left me to my life.
One Saturday while in my aunt’s house I learnt from her little daughter that my mother was dead. I asked her what did the word dead mean. She said that she did not know its meaning but had heard her mother telling it to her father. The word started haunting me and I wanted to know what it meant. I waited for the Monday to arrive soon so that I could ask my school-teacher, the meaning of this word.
At school, when I threw this question to my
teacher, she was astonished to hear such a doubt coming from a nine-year-old
kid. However, she did reply, as she did not know that the word related to my
mother. After hearing from her, I did not understand the meaning entirely but I
could realize one fact that it meant that the person would never come back.
Mama would never come back. I would never get
to see her again in my life. Papa had lied to me. I cursed those marbles, which
had made Mama angry and sad that day. I wished I had never played them. My
depressed spirit wanted to sleep forever and never wakeup again to put an end
to this meaningless life and it made the last wish to God to take me near Mama.
The eyes closed.
‘We need to take him to a doctor....’ Papa
said.
‘Uffo.....! its ok, many at his age do’, this
sentence woke me up with a start.
It was Mama’s voice and there she stood
pacifying Papa about me.
God! I had done it again, my bed was wet and it
was a bad… bad… dream. I was so happy to see myself back in the world where I
was supposed to be. I thanked God for granting me what I had wished for. I
jumped out of the bed, yelled out to Mama, and ran towards her. Her surprised
face looked at me and she opened out her arms. She picked me up, and as I
placed my head on her shoulders, she felt the presence of tiny drops of tears
on her shoulders. She ran her soft fingers in my hair patting my back. Hundred
kisses from my lips touched her face.
‘Dear dear, it was only a night that you were
away from me, what makes you cry’ asked Mom astonished.
